Childbirth Changed Their Lives Too Much
This couple took the sensible path and used birth control after their first child was born. However, the wife's libido has dramatically dropped, and the husband's response has not improved their sex life. What are they doing wrong? What could they do differently? Read on, get the facts, and find out if your marriage might be rescued with similar assistance.
Case #: 1309
Concern：
I have been married for three years now. We had good sex during the first few years but after child birth (C-Section) a lot has changed. We are using contraceptive pills and they seem to have caused my wife loss of libido. As a result of this I usually have to stimulate myself during love making resulting in premature ejaculation and hence [no one gets] satisfaction. This issue is threatening to tear us apart. My concerns are:
- Can my Wife regain her libido?
- Can you help me overcome premature ejaculation?
Discussion：
Let's begin by stating that your wife's sex life is under persistent attack on at least two fronts: physiologically and hormonally. Despite the frequency of the operation (currently one American birth in three is via c-section) and modern surgical technology, the procedure still puts the mother's health at risk.
She's Not Like She Used To Be
Beyond the obvious damage to the skin and muscle and uterus, there is a strong possibility that various significant neural connections in your wife's abdomen have been affected. This may have left her with decreased or almost absent sensation in her genitals immediately after the surgery and that may very well have not healed, even after all this time.
Hormone-manipulating contraceptives flood her body with estrogen and progesterone. This tricks her body into thinking that she's already pregnant, which prevents her ovaries from releasing any egg-cells. The downside is that her liver is constantly trying to cleanse the excess hormones (which is why she has to take the pills so regularly). Sustained too-high levels of either can produce a long list of uncomfortable effects, any one of which can lead to sexual discomfort: her vagina may become too wet or too dry, various tissues may become swollen and numb, her discharges may become heavier and lead to yeast infections, and so on.
On top of that, the liver plays a vital part in producing neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin and acetylcholine, all of which are critical for maintaining mental and emotional health. So an overworked liver that can't eliminate the excess hormones and can't produce enough of the desired stuff can drain her libido very easily.
He's Trying Too Hard To Stay Hard
Your premature ejaculation may be due many things, but given the situation you describe it may be due to over-masturbation exacerbating high levels of stress-hormones in your system. You're understandably frustrated at the state of your sex life and moreso by the fact that it's still not where either of you want it to be despite all your efforts. Continuing to self-stimulate before lovemaking or masturbating on your own can only make things worse, because these activities will only add more stress-hormones to your bloodstream.
Something Different For Both Of You
One basic suggestion for both your wife and yourself is to ease back on all sexual activities for a while. The goal is a complete dry spell of around three weeks, but any reduction down to no more than once every three or four days will be enough to let your bodies start recovering. During that time, talk to a health-care provider about various steps you can take to help your bodies heal more quickly and to monitor your progress.
Look for foods rich in zinc and B-complex . Good sources of zinc are oysters, wheat-germ and dark baking chocolate; B-complex is found in shellfish, yogurt and avocado. Feel free to do some additional research to find other foods that you like or have always wanted to try; now is definitely the time. Experimenting with new healthy foods can be a wonderful way for you and your wife to emotionally re-connect in a low-stress way.
A moderate exercise program can also help you improve your cardiovascular health and assist in metabolizing toxins or excess hormones. It can also boost your testosterone levels, strengthening your erections and improving sexual stamina. Your wife's neural networks may also benefit from the stimulation, boosting their healing process.
Your wife should consider taking an all-natural herbal supplement designed to assist in re-balancing her hormones with an eye toward reactivating her libido. (SEE: Libido Regeneration & Hormonal Balancing Formula) For you, there is a different but equally effective all-natural herbal supplement designed to strengthen your erections while enhancing your ejaculation control. (TRY: Early Ejaculation and Weak Erection Restoration)
The most important thing to use is patience. Properly repairing the damage will take time and consistent effort, but the payoff will be worth it.